I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
