It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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