I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
