Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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