I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
