It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
