I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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