Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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