i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
