I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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