she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
