I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
