dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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