I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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