Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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