...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
