He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize