We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
