Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
