Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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