dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
