How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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