If i come over, it means nothing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
