WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had to cum in my sink.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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