I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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