Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
