Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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