Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize