Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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