break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
