I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
