does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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