It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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