just come out here and I will go home with you...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
