everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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