Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
