People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
