i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
