Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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