Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
