Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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