if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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