so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize