Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
