i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
