I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
