Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
