You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mom said you looked used
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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