she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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