Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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