yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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