So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
