peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
