You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
