i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
