We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize