One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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