I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
