I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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