so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
