hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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