K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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