Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
